10 Books to Add to Your Reading List for the POPSUGAR Reading Challenge

Guest post by Kyle

Books to Add to Your Reading List

Reading Challenge Continued

I am continuing with the POPSUGAR reading challenge and suggest that anyone who loves reading to join in the fun! This reading challenge is particularly good for people, like me, who struggle with choosing the next book to read. I often struggle without parameters, so I created a reading list for everything. (I might need to cover these one day in a post!). This reading challenge is a good way to incorporate books from those lists while including others that I never would have picked (e.g. The Brothers Karamazov (Fyodor Dostoyevsky) for the 2016 prompt: “A book at least 100 years older than you,” and The Doctor and the Dinosaurs (Mike Resnick) for the 2017 prompt: “A steampunk novel”). I’ve enjoyed this reading challenge so much that we created one for our kids (shared here!)

If you missed my initial post describing the books I chose for the first ten prompts, essentially, the POPSUGAR reading challenge provides a list of prompts (This year there are 40 main prompts and then 10 “advanced” prompts. I’m still trying to figure out what makes them “advanced”). The reader (that’s you!) researches books that fit the prompt description and then, you know, reads them.

Here are my picks for prompts 11-20 from the 2018 list.

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11. A book with a female author who uses a male pseudonym

Last year’s reading list had “a book by an author who uses a pseudonym” as a prompt, which led me to The Cuckoo’s Calling by J.K. Rowling under the pseudonym Robert Galbraith. Of course, this was the first book in a series, so I could have read the second book to satisfy this year’s pseudonym prompt. But as I mentioned in the last post, there are too many series, and I was not interested in continuing another series for this reading challenge. That was good in theory, but the book I ended up reading for this prompt was also part of a series. Even worse, there are 47 books in the series.

I found Naked in Death (Nora Roberts writing as J.D. Robb) suggested on Goodreads and decided that a New York City-based detective novel set in the year 2058 was too good to pass up. I told myself that I would just read the first one and walk away and leave the other 46 books in the series unread. I’m not sure how that will work out, but I can tell you that it was fun reading the first one. Lieutenant Eve Dallas investigates the death of a senator’s daughter in a world dominated by technological advances. It gets more complicated, though. She grows increasingly attracted to person-of-interest Roarke, one of the richest and most powerful men on the planet.

12. A book with an LGBTQ+ protagonist

I deviated from the original book I chose when I saw My Point…And I Do Have One (Ellen DeGeneres) recommended at the end of an e-book I read. Ellen can be extremely funny, and I thought it would be good. Additionally, I remember watching her sitcom when I was younger (before and after she came out as a lesbian), and I remember it being really funny.

From time to time when completing the challenge, you will end up convincing yourself that a book actually “counts.” This book was published two years before Ellen famously came out at the airport in “The Puppy Episode.” So, while the book was about Ellen, it was not about LGBTQ+ Ellen, which was the purpose of the prompt.  I convinced myself that because Ellen was probably LGBTQ+ when the book was published (albiet privately), it still counts because the publication of that information did not fundamentally change who Ellen was at the time.

13. A book that is also a stage play or musical

Hamilton (Lin-Manuel Miranda and Jeremy McCarter) tells the story of the, well, revolutionary Broadway musical (you’ve probably heard of it). The book covers the unprecedented use of hip-hop and R&B on Broadway, which was never supposed to be successful. It also integrates the subject of Alexander Hamilton, the play’s topic, to emphasize the improbable rise of what would become the most sought-after ticket on Broadway.

14. A book by an author of a different ethnicity than you

If you subscribe to Amazon Prime (try it free here!), one of the features that comes with your membership is Kindle First. This gives you early access to a free e-book at the beginning of each month. Typically, you choose between five or six books from various genres. I like to search through the descriptions and choose books that I can use for this reading challenge or that fit in on another reading list of mine. A River in Darkness: One Man’s Escape from North Korea (Masaji Ishikawa) worked for both. I was able to use it for this prompt. It also works on my list of non-fiction books set in or about a person from each country in the world. This memoir tells the story of a boy taken by his father to North Korea from Japan in hopes of a better life; one they do not find. As a member of the lowest social caste, Ishikawa must overcome suffering, death, and poverty to make it home.

15. A book about feminism

The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood) is another book that I would have forever ignored if not for this reading challenge. I had no idea what it was about. I thought it was going to be something like Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen) – which was on my “Amazon’s top 100 books to read” reading list. Spoilers: it’s not. Nothing like it. Not even a little. A dystopian future in which the American government has been overthrown and women are only valued for their ability to reproduce, this story features Offred (read Of Fred, to whom she belongs), a handmaid. She remembers life before slavery. She thinks about it, she dreams about it. And she has found inspiration: Nolite te bastardes carborundorum (Don’t let the bastards grind you down).

16. A book about mental health

Here is another book for which I had already seen the movie. Zach Galifianakis stars in the movie adaptation of It’s Kind of a Funny Story (Ned Vizzini). The story centers around teenager Craig Gilner. On the morning he has decided to commit suicide, Craig checks himself into a psychiatric hospital instead.

This story is autobiographical; the author spent time in a hospital for depression. WARNING: if you want to be happy, do not look up any information about the author. Learn from my mistakes.

17. A book you borrowed or that was given to you as a gift

My parents used to run a campground on the Brazos River near Glen Rose, TX. A frequent camper brought my parents a copy of Goodbye to a River (John Graves) and guess what, I borrowed it. John Graves undertakes one last canoe trip down the Brazos River before a series of dams would change the river and landscape forever. The story centers on his trip down the river, but also includes his versions of stories that took place along various points along the way. Anybody who is from Texas must read this book, even if you have never dipped your toes in the Brazos. If you are not from Texas, you should read it too!

18. A book by two authors

The 5 Love Languages of Children (Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell) is probably a little cheesier than it needs to be, but parenting books have to be a little cheesy. It’s the law. This one wasn’t initially on my list, but Megan downloaded in from Overdrive, so I read it too. This book is based on the original love languages book written for couples. I have not read that one, so I won’t comment on it. This book is geared to help you find your child’s primary ‘love language.’ Megan wrote a much more meaningful post about her experience reading and adapting the suggested practices, so check it out here!

19. A book about or involving a sport

Moneyball: The Art of Winning an Unfair Game (Michael Lewis) is yet another book for which I had already seen the movie. It’s the true story of Billy Beane, the Oakland Athletics general manager who seeks to defy the odds by building a winning team with cheap talent that other teams consistently overlook. The transition into the sabremetric era of sports, baseball in particular, changed the way rosters are built. Moneyball provides great insight into the organization that started the craze.

20. A book by a local author

In 2017, the city of Cleburne, Texas celebrated the return of professional baseball. The Cleburne Railroaders inaugural season ended in the 1906 Texas League championship. After that first season, the team moved to Houston. We are not from Cleburne, so a lot of the city’s history is unknown to us. But this tidbit was shared multiple times throughout the campaign to bring a team to town and during the lead-up to opening day. What I thought was a one-and-done baseball team actually had a deeper history with multiple years of existence. Furthermore, the team had a significant amount of success. Cleburne Baseball: A Railroader History (Scott Cain) was written by the city’s mayor, who played a large role in bringing a team back to Cleburne. And you can’t get much more local than that!

Share Your Reading List

Aside from the two books about baseball, this group of ten has a lot of variety. I’d love to hear your thoughts of my list. I’m also interested to hear which books you are adding to your reading list. You don’t have to start with prompt #1, but don’t forget to check out prompts 1-10 in this post, or head on to prompts 21-30. Leave a comment with your thoughts and let me know how you liked the books, and if you want to be the first to know when I post the rest of my picks, sign up for our mailing list here!

My Pick:

Here’s @oscarshead with my favorite book out of this set of prompts.

A River in Darkness: One Man’s Escape from North Korea (Masaji Ishikawa)


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Spring Break Recap

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Spring Break Fun

I started teaching straight out of college, and haven’t stopped since. My husband has been a teacher for the better part of the last decade. We are lucky to be able to enjoy Spring Break each year as part of our scheduled time off. This year was slightly different, though, because we now officially have a boy in school. This was his first true Spring Break experience, and he was so excited for a vacation and extended time at home.

We had an ambitious Spring Break to-do list, and I think we did pretty well in whittling things off of it. We had a fair amount of in-home and out & busy days. I tend to get overwhelmed at holidays because we are on the go constantly for most of the time. This break felt like we had some good time to relax, with some out-of-the-norm activities sprinkled in.

Yardwork

We started out by tackling some yard projects. The weather here has been incredibly nice (and at times downright hot – but I keep trying to tell myself to cherish this “hot” because come August I’ll be wishing for 85!) So we took advantage of the opportunity to get outside and get started on our mile-long to do list.

Lava Rock Bed Be Gone!

The first for Kyle was a big bed of lava rock outside of our back door that’s been here since we moved in. We still aren’t sure what exactly is going to happen with this space, but we were in agreement that “bed-of-rock with weeds” wasn’t it. The boys helped him remove the lava rock, and he made several trips to our city dump for free mulch. Some people frown upon the free mulch – “You just don’t know what’s in that!” … but, for me, free = getting it.

For now it’s been transformed into a mulch bed with our cinder block bench (fresh with new cushions).

Butterfly Garden

Last summer we were gifted a new swing set. We loved our old one, but it did not hold up very well after moving from house to house. There’s a butterfly garden at one of the parks in town, and the kids love it. The boys and I decided we would transform our old swing set into a hub for a butterfly garden of our own. We did not do so well last year with this. I think we got started a little bit late, and by the time we got going, plants were out of stock and it was too hot for anything to be happy out there.

This year I decided we’d get a jump on things, so we went right after school on Friday to speak with our local nurseryman. (We actually worked with his wife this time!) She helped us take a look at our space and our list of plants that the Internet says are good for butterfly gardens to come up with a plan.

We were able to get a few things going, and our plant stand for pots got a fresh coat of paint. There are a few more plants in the plan that will really change the look of things. But I’ll go ahead and share what we’ve got going on so far! I plan to write a post detailing the make-up of our garden once we get it all established!

Update: We’ve had some visitors! Come read about what kinds of butterflies we’ve been attracting to the butterfly garden.

Craft Projects

What break would be complete without craft projects?! Not one of mine, that’s for sure. I was so happy to get a fresh coat of paint on that plant stand – but that wasn’t even one of my planned projects. There were only a few things on my list for Spring Break crafting, and I was happy to be able to fit them in.

Doormat DIY

I have been seeing cute DIY doormats all over social media lately, and I was itching to get us a fresh one. Our old one was a gift from our sweet realtors when we bought this house, which means it was almost two years old. The lifespan of a doormat is not that long. I was excited and nervous to try painting my own mat. Usually stenciling is a task I tackle with confidence and end up disappointed with in the end. However, stenciling on these coir doormats is a dream. No bleeding! What!?

I went back and forth on whether to do a silly saying or something more traditional like a monogram or “welcome.”  But I’ve already got a little sign for my house number with our last initial and the word welcome, so silly saying it is. If you can’t have fun on a doormat, what can you have fun with, right?

Now I want to stencil/paint my porch too. Kyle thinks I’m crazy. *Update: If you want to see how I made this, I wrote a quick tutorial for stenciling a doormat.

T-shirt Mania

I recently bought a new Cricut (an electronic die-cutting machine). I already had a Cricut, but just like anything else, it became outdated. The old ones only cut images from cartridges that you had to purchase, so the things I could cut were very limited. New Cricuts cut any image or font you have on your computer. So the cutting world is your oyster. So far I’ve made some vinyl names for steel cups, a few t-shirts, stencils for signs (and my doormat!), and a few other random gifts. If you’ve been on the fence about buying one, or are just now climbing up on the hypothetical fence, do it!!

I wanted to make shirts for my smallest guys since I’d only made a shirt for the oldest. My middle child (the Halloween lover!) wanted a pumpkin shirt in another color, and I still get to pick what the baby gets! I fulfilled the pumpkin request, and put some Drake lyrics on a tiny shirt.

Day Trippin’

We took a few day trips for the kids to do some fun things in neighboring towns. They loved all of them, so the travel time was worth it!

Waco

We live about an hour or so from Waco, and I joined my mom and sister for a trip to Magnolia to experience the Chip and JoJo mania. Each time I’ve been it’s crazy busy and crowded, and I haven’t bought anything. But it’s always fun to get out of the house for a bit anyway! We also hit up Spice Village, which is a cute collection of boutiques in one space. Definitely worth the walk a few blocks over from Magnolia.

Mayborn Museum

My husband and his mom ended up taking the kids to Waco on the same day that I was there. But they did not go for shopping, they were headed to Baylor’s campus to the Mayborn Children’s Museum. We were able to meet up with them after lunch and take on the 2nd floor of the museum. There were many interactive exhibits for the kids, and all three boys found things to enjoy. Their collective favorite was the big water table. Of course! Here they are in the old-timey village learning how to crush herbs.

Epic Waters

The city of Grand Prairie recently opened a large indoor water park, and my family made a plan to check it out over Spring Break. The boys had a blast playing in the water. My oldest was a huge fan of the kid-sized water slides, the 3 year old just kind of “swam” (layed horizontally and walked along with his hands!), and the 1 year old got a kick out of the floor fountains. They all thoroughly enjoyed themselves in their own ways and are ready to go back. It was crowded, but not in the way that makes things un-fun. The facility keeps track of how many people they are letting in at a given time, so there is some level of crowd control. Word of advice if you plan on visiting – buy tickets online before you go! Otherwise, plan on a very long wait outside.

Birthday Fun

Our last out of town activity was a trip a couple hours away to celebrate two of our cousins’ birthdays. The guys got to go swimming in March again (twice in one week!?), and the big boys stayed at the Embassy Suites with their grandparents. Kyle and I took advantage of the kid-free dinner to stop on our way back home and eat our favorite – Pei Wei. Turns out Noles likes lettuce wraps! The trip was mostly great, except for little man terrorizing his brothers the whole way. This can’t be comfy!

I also sorted, packed, and delivered the first of many loads of baby boy clothes to my sister-in-law, who is expecting her first boy. While it’s great to clear out some storage space, and kind of fun to think about getting to be done with the “baby phase,” I did shed some tears while preparing to officially close the door on that stage of life.  I am super happy that the clothes are going to a family member and I’ll get to see some of them again, though!!

Springbreaksgiving

And of course, we celebrated Springbreaksgiving. If you’re not sure what that word means, go read this post! We had a lot of fun, and though I was insanely worried, we had enough food! I made Kyle run out at the last minute to buy some totally unnecessary chicken strips for the kids, but I was honestly convinced we were going to invite all these people over and run out of meat. A few expected guests were unable to come, but I think we probably would’ve been okay even if they had! The kids had a great time playing, and we enjoyed the time with our family, friends, and neighbors. The weather was great, and the food was delicious. I spent much of the day Wednesday and all morning Thursday cleaning like a madwoman, but my house is already back in post-tornado condition. Oh well, what can ya do?

Almost Summer

The only silver lining to Spring Break ending is the 2nd half of the spring semester generally flies by. I’ll wake up soon and be stressing out about not having enough teaching days left in the semester before my students take their final exam.

Life keeps getting more and more fun as the boys get older, and I’m excited to get into summer and make more memories as a family, both in and out of the house! What did you get accomplished this Spring Break?

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5 Love Languages for Children: 10 Changes To Make Today

five love languages of children

As a mom of three boys, it feels like sometimes no matter what I do, there are are days where the fits just won’t stop. There are times when it feels like the kids are hellbent on ensuring that I get nothing done. Then there are times where it feels like everything is going right. Smiles, laughter, and cuddles mixed in with independence and helpfulness. I try to do all that I can to make the good days more frequent than the hectic ones. But to be honest – sometimes it just feels like a crapshoot.

I do not read near as much as I feel like I should, but I do get an itch sometimes and end up browsing the free downloads on the library site. If you’re anything like me, then you can spend as much time browsing the books trying to pick something to read as you actually do reading a book. It’s exactly what happens to me in Netflix. By the time I decide what to watch, I’m ready to call it a night. The last time I got the urge to take in a book, I settled on The 5 Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman, PhD and Ross Campbell, MD, and I’m glad I did.

I don’t know what exactly made me choose it, as I’m not usually big on the self-help genre. But I guess I thought that if I’m raising three boys, maybe I should see what I could be doing better to help them become well-adjusted little humans. I’d heard someone talking about love languages in the days before seeing the book in the virtual library, so it felt like the universe was telling me something. After reading the book, making those good days more frequent feels like less of a shot in the dark, and more like something I’m actively working to make happen.

five love languages of children

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What are love languages?

In his book, author Gary Chapman applies his “love language” theory, originally developed for couples, to parent-child relationships. While this may seem a bit odd at face value, it makes sense. We are all human, and whether it be from a spouse or a parent, we all have ways that we communicate and feel loved. The basic premise is that there are five ways in which we communicate our feelings, and that each of us has a preferred love language that makes us feel valued and loved. Think about it. You may have one child who wants to be hugged all the time, and another who could do without the hugs but is constantly asking you to play with him. These two children would have different preferred love languages. The 5 love languages are as follows:5 love languages

Primary Love Languages

When applying this theory to your significant other and older children, the idea is that everyone needs a bit from all areas, but that most people will have 1-2 primary love languages. As a significant other, if you know that your partner’s primary love language is acts of service, then you would want to make a point of going out of your way to regularly take on tasks to ease their burden.

What I found most interesting about applying this theory to children is that the authors state that most children under the age of 5 do not yet have a primary love language. They require regular expressions from all five categories. Since all three of my children are 5 and under, this got me thinking and wondering if I really am showing them I care in different ways. I know that I love my kids, I know that we provide a safe environment for them, and I feel like we have a very loving household. But the bottom line is that if my kids are not feeling that, then I’m not doing my whole job.

In an effort to make sure that we are thoughtfully showing each of them love from all five approaches, we made a few super easy changes to our regular routines. As it turns out, some little tweaks to what we were already doing made a big difference!

If you’re like me and tend to forget things as soon as you’ve started something new, take a minute and print off my free Love Languages Ideas recording sheet. It’ll allow you to record anything you like here, or any ideas you have as you read/later on as you begin to implement the principles of the five love languages!

Receiving Gifts

I’ll start with this love language because it was probably the one that seemed the most out of my comfort zone. I generally do not give my kids gifts outside of “gift giving occasions.” The fact that this was a love language had me thinking that maybe I’d just have to fall short. As a stay-at-home mom, our budget is pretty strict. Not to mention, we don’t like having a lot of junk! And then to top it off, we always hear about kids being entitled or spoiled, and I don’t want to turn my sweet boys into materialistic beggars who always expect something. Maybe that’s a bit dramatic.

Since reading this book, I have changed my tune. Have you ever seen a kid who was just incredibly excited to receive a gift, no matter how small? When someone gives you a gift, it is just one more way that they can show you they are actively thinking of you. And don’t gifts that someone gives you “just because” somehow seem even more special?

So how do we do this without breaking the bank?

The “Giving it to them anyway” Gift

This idea came from the book, and I have had fun with it. My kids have felt special, and I haven’t even had to buy anything extra. The suggestion from the authors was to try wrapping something you were going to give them anyway.

I did this with a shirt that I made for my son to wear to school. He even knew it was coming. Instead of just handing it to him or laying it out for him, I took an extra 30 seconds to put it into a plain gift bag and left it at his place at the table where he’d see it when he woke up for breakfast. He was so excited. His reaction to the thoughtful addition of gift wrapping made the whole thing even better for both of us. You don’t have to make your child something to do this. I also wrapped some clothes that I had bought online just because they needed new ones, and they loved that too.

The Gift of Groceries

Wait, what? Yes. The gift of groceries. Is there something ridiculous at the store that your kids are always begging you to get? For mine it is Scooby Snacks. Dog bone shaped grahams. I’d much rather just buy good ol’ (cheaper) rectangular grahams. But every once in a while I’ll buy those Scooby Snacks (or Frozen cheese or whatever the ridiculous thing is they’ve been asking for). And you better believe I make a big deal about it. I come home from the grocery store acting like I’ve brought home a puppy. “You guys get in here! You’ve got to see what mama got for you at the store! I picked it out special just for you!” It’s like Christmas. Only it’s groceries. And for about $0.50 extra I’ve pleased the masses.

Christmas Book Countdown

This one’s a bonus to implement later. I know, I know. You don’t need one more thing to do at Christmas. BUT this is a fun replacement for (or addition to) an Advent calendar filled with chocolates. Wrap a Christmas book per day in December (or just regular books!) and take some time to read the ‘special’ book the kids opened. (This pulls double duty for the “quality time” category!) If you’re thinking that 25 books is not cheap, you’re right. So we just wrap up books we already own, with a few new ones sprinkled in.

This has two effects. It breathes new life and excitement into our old books. It also makes the kids’ anticipation and joy for the new ones that much greater. Every time they open one that is new, it’s kind of like they hit the lottery. If you have multiple kids, this is also a great exercise in patience and sharing. One book a day means not everyone opens one every day!

Quality Time

How many times do you find yourself saying, “Just a minute …” or “After I finish … ” when your kids ask for help or attention? I know for me it is more often than I’d like. How often are we on the phone when our kids are just needing a few minutes of quality time? For me, it’s more often than I’d like. Since reading the love languages book, I’ve tried to be extremely mindful of my responses to requests for quality time.

More often than not, if my kids want to play catch or cars, they truly only are engaged for about 5 minutes before they’re on to the next thing. I’ve found that since saying, “Yes.” a little bit more often, my children actually can be a lot more self-sufficient while I complete whatever task I was about to do.

The average children’s book takes about 5 minutes or less to read, so I’ve also tried to respond to those requests with an immediate yes rather than put them off as well. I’m not suggesting that we should always drop what we’re doing the second a child asks us for some QT. That’s unrealistic and unreasonable, and sometimes what I’m doing is honestly important. But there are many times when whatever I’m about to tackle can wait while I read a quick story. Making my kids feel more important than laundry is a-ok in my book.

It may also be fun to try a new twist on a family favorite. My kids love going to the park, so I created a scavenger hunt for us to complete and it was a lot of fun! I shared it here so you can print it too! Following are a few ideas you can implement around the house:

Before School Snuggles

I wrote earlier in this post about my oldest son’s transition to kindergarten. He was having a very hard time adjusting to the early mornings and long days. We weren’t having knock-down-drag-outs every morning or anything, but he was just overall grumpy and uncooperative. We decided we’d try waking him up 15 minutes early for snuggles while he took some time to adjust. I’d be lying if I said he’s super pleasant all of the time now in the morning.

BUT the difference this small change has made has been awesome. He knows when he gets out of bed he’s going to get some one-on-one quality time. (If you can ignore the 15 month old crawling all over us!) Sometimes he talks, sometimes he closes his eyes, sometimes he wants his back drawn on. But he truly enjoys this time. I know this may be unrealistic for some schedules. But if you can’t fit it in before breakfast, I’d strongly encourage you to try to squeeze in some extra one-on-one snuggle time after school or in early evening some time.

Breakfast Book Club

This one is my husband and oldest son’s ritual. But I have to share it because my five year old looks forward to it so much. After he’s done snuggling with me, he goes on to breakfast. While he’s eating, my husband reads from whatever chapter book they’re reading together at the time. (Usually it’s an Astrid Lindgren tale! They’re both a bit Sweden obsessed, so Pippi is a favorite around here.) This time is pretty sacred for my son. On the few occasions where daddy’s been out of town for conferences, he is very concerned that I won’t be able to read to him during breakfast. (I do.) He loves getting to have a special time with dad, and it’s never a bad thing when a kid is into a book, right?

Morning Walk

With my younger boys, I’ve been trying my best to stay regular with a morning walk. Sometimes I feel like I don’t do a great job focusing on them for significant amounts of time when we are hanging at the house. I of course play with them, read, etc. But there’s always something to be done from housework to work-work (I teach part-time) to just wanting a minute of my own. When we’re on our walk though, we are free from distractions. We can play games like color spotting, bird/squirrel watching, or my three year old’s favorite – leaf or rock gathering. On days we don’t get out for our morning walk, I can definitely tell that the boys are more needy, clingy, and whiny. This works double duty for me too because I get a little bit of exercise guaranteed!

Physical Touch

I feel like with kids especially, this one is easy for a lot of us. In my experience, small children will often initiate hugs, snuggles, and physical play. For this love language, I wanted to think of a few ways outside of the normal day-to-day touch we engage in. Take cues from your kids. We have changed the way we interact with our middle child since reading the book. He used to get frustrated as we would initiate hugs/kisses etc. “I don’t like kisses!” he’d yell. He does not love unwelcome touching. We have changed from forced hugs to high-fives and hair tousles. I can tell since the change, the number of hugs and snuggles initiated by him have gone up.

What Am I Drawing? Game

This one is a favorite of my kids with their daddy. It’s quick and easy to do whether you’re sitting at home or out and about. They often play it in church (while they’re listening intently of course!) or at times when we are having to wait and be quiet or still. One of the kids will hop up in Kyle’s lap, and he draws a picture or writes a word on their back from a category they choose. I love hearing our 3 year old’s sweet voice say, “My category is …” Sometimes he comes up with some crazy stuff. It can also get pretty specific, like “tiger eating a mongoose.”  So…. you want me to draw a tiger eating a mongoose then.

In any case, the big boys love this game so much that they also request at least one round of drawing on backs each night when laying down for bed. Sometimes all I want to do is get bedtime done with and go relax. But I realize how important it is for me to take a few extra minutes to draw a little picture and spend some extra time with them.

The Dab Hug

This is another one of my husband’s “games.” It sounds silly because it is. Instead of just tackling a kid for a hug, he engages in a “dab hug.” It’s where he pretends like he’s going to force a kid to hug him, and then dabs at the last second. If you don’t know what “dabbing” is, allow me to share with you a dabbing cat shirt. Animal dabbing is the best kind of dabbing (other than my 5 yr old’s dabbing. That’s pretty entertaining!) According to my husband, dab hugging always results in actual hugging. And giggles.

Dab Cat Shirt at Target

Words of Affirmation

I feel like I’m a pretty good verbal communicator with my kids. I do my best to orally praise them each time I’m proud or pleased. People have given me parenting advice like, “Don’t praise a kid for something they’re supposed to do anyway.” But I don’t follow that advice. I 100% believe that my kids need to hear that I’m happy with them when I’m happy with them. Otherwise, they may not be perceptive enough to pick up on the fact that I notice or approve of their behavior. Seriously, kids are oblivious. So I go out of my way to give them positive verbal reinforcement. I was struggled to find a way to improve in this category. What else should I be doing?

Write a Note

I have Facebook friends who have posted sweet notes that they have gotten from their kids that were written at school. I must admit, I had some jealousy because it seemed like everyone’s kids but mine write their parents sweet notes. One time I got one, but it came with a disclaimer: “Oh yeah, we had to write that.” I’d decided that maybe that just wasn’t my kid’s jam. One day I wrote him a lunchbox note. Nothing fancy, just an, “I love you, have a great day!” note. And I wrote a few more. Dad wrote a few Swedish notes.

I cannot verify that this was a catalyst for change. But I can tell you that I have gotten many, many notes this semester. Maybe he just decided to start writing. Maybe his daddy told him he’d better start writing mama love notes. Then again, maybe he realized that this is a way to express to someone that you’re thinking about them. Be the change you want to see, folks!
love note to mommy

Acts of Service

In a relationship, acts of service are intended to be things that you do to intentionally lighten your partner’s load or to, well, serve them. It could be as simple as taking on one of their “regular” chores one day. With kids, it feels like literally my entire life is an act of service to them. I mean, if wiping someone’s hiney on the daily isn’t an act of service, what is? For this love language I wanted to think of things I was basically already doing, but that I could just modify in my delivery to be presented in a loving way.

Favorite Dinner Thursday

I am the cook for dinner more often than not. I do like cooking, but in my opinion it is already an act of service for the family. I’ve decided to instate Favorite Dinner Thursdays, which is exactly what it sounds like. I’m going to rotate and have a different family member choose a favorite for Thursday dinner each week. I have a feeling I’m going to end up with a lot of meatloaf and pork chops, but lucky for me – I like those things. It might not sound like much, but this is a way that I can turn cooking dinner into an intentional way to serve each of them individually. I make their favorite dinners pretty often anyway, but this way it’ll turn it into a special event “just for them.”

Public Service Announcement

This one is, again, Kyle’s brainchild. He has begun announcing whenever he picks something up for one of the kids. Not in like a weird way like Dennis Quaid on Ellen, “Dennis Quaid is here!” Just in a way that says, hey – I’m doing this for you so that you don’t have to. Our oldest constantly leaves his backpack and coat in the middle of the kitchen after school. Almost always, he’s responsible for coming back to hang it up.

But sometimes you clean up after your kids anyway. Instead of just putting it away unnoticed, Kyle will say, “Hey, I’m going to go ahead and put this up for you!” A service that would’ve gone unnoticed can now be appreciated. (This is also nice for the parents – a bit of appreciation goes a long way!) Note: this doesn’t work if you are sounding annoyed about it. It takes a bit of a mindset shift from viewing it as picking up their junk again to seeing it as speaking in love languages.

Mindful Responses

I don’t expect that any of these suggestions were ground breaking or novel ideas. The point of the love languages theory is that you are mindful of how you are expressing yourself. You probably already do many of these things. We have not made any huge changes. But being mindful of the ways we express ourselves has definitely made a difference in our relationships with our kids. Knowing specifically what the boys need from us has made us better parents. And if you weren’t able to pick up on it from this post, my kids have a great dad!

Speaking Their Love Languages

As the boys get bigger, they will each develop a preferred love language. I have some guesses as to what the older two boys’ will be, but I’m interested to see how it plays out! That doesn’t mean we will quit trying to fulfill all five, but there will be one that takes precedence.

Have you read about love languages before? If you’ve applied the theory to your children, what have your results been like? If not, what do you plan to tweak to start regularly hitting all five?

Looking for more ideas to spend quality time with your kids? Don’t forget to check out our Park Scavenger Hunt, & tackle this Summer Reading Challenge as a family!

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10 Books to Get You Started on the POPSUGAR Reading Challenge

Guest post by Kyle
reading challenge picks
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Reading Challenge Accepted

 

I’m not exactly sure what POPSUGAR is, but a couple of years ago, I was searching for a reading challenge and came across their 50 book topic challenge. I found the concept interesting enough to give it a try. Instead of a traditional “books to read” list, the POPSUGAR list is a set of topics and criteria to satisfy over the course of the year. I find it appealing because one of the main challenges I (and a lot of other readers) have is picking out a book to read. The library and bookstores have always been among my favorite places to visit, but I have found that I can’t just “pop in” without a plan. I have to know what I’m getting, or I will be there all day. Now, I don’t have to wander around looking for a book from my four or five “comfort” genres. In fact, I enjoy having this reading challenge so much that we created a Summer Reading Challenge for Kids (shared here!)

The POPSUGAR reading challenge essentially gives you a list of prompts and it’s up to you to find books that match the prompt. The next year’s list comes out around November, and then the fun starts! I probably enjoy the research of preparing the list more than actually reading the books. This involves checking all my other reading lists for books that qualify (I have several different book lists going at the moment), checking Goodreads discussion threads, reading the descriptions, and then finding out what’s going to be available at my local library, my college library, or what I might already own (or be willing to buy).

Here are my picks for the first ten prompts from the 2018 list. Also be sure to check out prompts 11-20 here!

1. A book made into a movie you’ve already seen

I am a big fan of watching the movie first; I find both the movie and the book much more enjoyable than the other way around. Like many of you, when I read the book first, the movie fails to live up to my expectations. Nothing is worse than when they cast the wrong actor or actress to play your characters. If anybody else is thinking Owen Wilson in Wonder, then we are on the same page. However, when you watch the movie first, your expectation is built in advance and the characters are already associated with actors. So you cannot be disappointed. If you ever hear Megan complain about the film The Help, based on the Kathryn Stockett novel by the same name, just know that I do not feel the same way. Unlike everyone else, I saw the movie, then read the book! But back to the list!

This turned out to be an easy prompt because I was already reading Män som Hater Kvinnor (Stieg Larsson), which is the original Swedish version of the American adaptation The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (same author…obvs). And trust me, if you are reading a book in a language that you don’t completely understand, having seen the movie first is a big help! If you have not seen the movie or read the book, the story focuses on Mikael Blomkvist. He has been hired to investigate the forty-years-ago disappearance of Harriet Vanger. The story also features Lisbeth Salandar, a young computer hacker who assists Blomkvist in his investigation.

2. True crime

True crime is one of my favorite genres, so there were a lot from which to choose. I ultimately narrowed it down between In Cold Blood (Truman Capote) and The Devil in the White City (Erik Larson). I put them both on hold on Overdrive and In Cold Blood became available first, so I went with it. It’s an account of a family found murdered in a small Kansas town in the 1950s, and is unique in that a portion of the book is from the perspective of the guilty parties.

3. The next book in a series you started

It seems like every book out there is a part of a series, and when I read one book in a series, I feel obligated to keep going. Damn you, Alex Cross!. This category more than any other seems to have the most potential options. Harry Potter? Hunger Games? Percy Jackson? Adventures of Captain Underpants? Nope, none of those. I originally decided to go with Missing in Malmö (Torquil MacLeod), which is the third book in a series I find very enjoyable, despite the fact that the first book had one of the worst and cheesiest endings I’ve ever read. However, due to the inevitable switerchoos that take place when you “accidentally” read a book that’s not on your list and want it to count toward the reading challenge, I had to make some adjustments. Ain’t nobody got time for reading books that don’t even count.

So for this prompt I ended up reading The Girl Who Played with Fire (Stieg Larsson), the second book in the Millennium series. In this installment, Lisbeth Salander is on the run after being connected to the murder of a young couple.

4. A book involving a heist

Zero hesitation. When I saw this prompt, I knew exactly which book I was reading: Sex on the Moon: The Amazing Story Behind the Most Audacious Heist in History (Ben Mezrich). This book has been sitting in my virtual wish list for years and I finally had a reason to buy it! But instead of buying it, I listened to the audiobook narrated by Casey Affleck (say that without sounding like a duck selling insurance). Thad Roberts convinces his girlfriend and another NASA intern to help him break into a laboratory and steal precious moon rocks that are extremely valuable and also extremely illegal to own!

5. Nordic noir

My favorite genre. Nordic noir, sometimes called Scandinavian noir, is a very interesting crime fiction genre. It typically uses simple and straightforward language and the stories are contrastingly dark compared to the calmness that we sometimes associate with nordic countries. The genre owes a lot to Stieg Larsson, who (posthumously) brought international attention to Swedish crime fiction and who features heavily in my reading. I had a lot of choices here, and ultimately, due to the switching and replacing that was mentioned earlier, I read Roseanna (Maj Sjöwall and Per Wahloo), which is the first book in the Martin Beck series. Yes, another series. In this book, Martin Beck is investigating the murder of a solo traveler, whose body is dredged from Lake Vattern. All Beck has is her name and the 185 fellow cruise ship passengers who could potentially have strangled her.

6. A novel based on a real person

Here is a prompt that poses a bit of a problem. Novel implies fiction, so you have to stay away from memoirs or biographies. But researching this is kinda difficult, so I ended up looking at a Goodreads list and just trusting the contributors that The Sun Also Rises (Ernest Hemingway) is, in fact, based on a real person. The story follows Brett and Jake as they journey from the nightlife of 1920s Paris to the brutal bullfighting rings of Spain with a group of expatriates.

7. A book set in a country that fascinates you

If you haven’t figured it out yet, Sweden is a country that fascinates me. I have several books in this list that qualify here, but I wanted to read something for this prompt that didn’t exactly qualify for anything else. So, I went with My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She’s Sorry (Fredrik Backman), which follows seven-year-old Elsa who is sent on an adventure when her grandmother dies and leaves behind a series of letters apologizing to people she has wronged in her past. Also, if you haven’t read Backman’s A Man Called Ove, do yourself the favor. I also hear that Beartown is good, but I haven’t gotten around to it yet. Maybe it’ll fit on 2019’s list?

8. A book with a time of day in the title

Here is the fun part about this reading challenge: you get to decide which books count and which books don’t count. I don’t know if “night” is technically a time of day, but I decided that The Friday Night Knitting Club (Kate Jacobs) was close enough. This book features a group of women who come together once a week in a New York City yarn shop to work on their latest projects and share their lives.

I didn’t think I would like this one, but it surprised me. If you are into knitting or group-crafting of any kind, I think you will have fun with this book. It will remind you of the crafters in your circle!

9. A book about a villain or antihero

As I mentioned, reading a book AFTER watching the movie is the way to go. I failed to mention that it also includes going back and re-watching the movie after reading the book after watching the movie. This applies to television shows too. Darkly Dreaming Dexter (Jeff Lindsay) is the foundation for the Showtime series Dexter, about a *spoilers*serial killer who works as a blood analyst and only kills bad guys. The show does deviate from the book, particularly the ending. But since I saw the show first, in my mind, the books deviates from the show!

10. A book about death or grief

And to end this first post, we arrive at the true purpose of the reading challenge. The Year of Magical Thinking (Joan Didion) is a book that is critically acclaimed and an amazing book, but under no circumstances would I have “chosen” to read it on my own. Facing a parent’s worst nightmare, Didion and her husband watch their only child fall seriously ill, be induced into a coma and placed on life support. While eating dinner after visiting the hospital, Didion’s husband suffers a fatal heart attack. This book is Didion’s attempt to make sense of her life and put into perspective the realities of grieving.

A Challenge to Branch Out

I enjoy this reading challenge because the prompts open readers up to new ideas through new genres, authors, and books. They provide opportunities to grow when you otherwise would have ignored the chance. (Please ignore the fact that 3 of the first 10 books involve Swedish crime fiction. I promise I get more diverse as the prompts go on!).  Please share any thoughts or suggestions in the comment section. Hopefully, you will be inspired to branch out from your comfort zone and try a new book. Let us know if you are going to try this reading challenge and what books you choose.

Ready to keep it going? Check out my picks for prompts 11-20 in this post! And if you want to be the first to know when I post my next picks, sign up for the mailing list!

My Pick:

Here’s @oscarshead with my favorite book out of the first ten prompts.

I liked a lot of these books, but The Year of Magical Thinking (Joan Didion) is the only one I would recommend to anyone regardless of their genre preference. Everyone will experience grief differently and everyone will experience this book differently. But someone out there needs this book to help put life, death, and grieving into perspective.

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